First Moon Forever 22

“Psheeeew! What is that smell?” – Was the first thing heard as soon as the door opened. Mommy had decided I should sit in my mess for a little while ‘to get used to being a stinky little puppy’ as she said, but it was so hard. I had been trying to play with the toys she had set out for me on the living room floor and I was okay with it just being the two of us, but Marsha broke me out of playtime and I grabbed a blanket to try and hide.

“Marsha! Be nice to your little sister, she was just getting comfortable in her mucky pants.” She was trying to hide it, but I could hear the laugh in her voice.

“Oh, sorry mama! I didn’t know the baby was so small is all.” Both of them were hiding the teasing laugh as best as they could, but I knew.

“Moooommyyyyy! Can I have a change now?” I whined from under the plush blanket.

“Now sweetie, we talked about this…” Liliana began and I helped her finish. “… babies don’t ask to be changed.” Our tones were very different and Marsha couldn’t hold back any more and burst into laughter. “Oh! I think your big sister just volunteered to change you!”

I dropped the blanket in shock to see my expression mirrored on Marsha’s face, but we could both see Liliana was being serious, so I crawled back to the nursery behind the grumbling older wolf. “Walked right into that didn’t I baby sis?” I couldn’t help but giggle to myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~

An hour later we were all back in the living room, the Goosebumps movie on TV. Marsha was playing on the switch while I was busy with Legos. Liliana had gone back to her office to take care of things and the doorbell rang.

“Oh, Rachel? You wanted Chinese, they’re here.” Liliana called from the back of the house.

I looked down at myself in nothing but a wolf print onesie and diaper. “M-marsha?”

“Nuh uh squirt, you wanted it, you go get it.” She grinned at me as I slowly got up and walked anxiously to the door. On the other side was a thin young person in black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt and black denim vest covered in patches and pins. They had a long bubblegum pink mohawk and a shocked look for a moment as they took me in. They looked me up and down before smiling.

“Aww, hi sweetheart, is your mommy, daddy or guardian home? I need an adult to sign for the credit card slip.” They smiled, my cheeks puffed out and Marsha burst into a giggle fit in the next room. I wanted to fuss, but their study tone and kind demeanor stopped me. I held out my hands expectantly, but he didn’t relent. Liliana rested her chin on my shoulder, a feat with me being about half a foot taller than her.

“Oh hello, I’ll take care of that.” She took the slip, signed it and handed it back to them. They handed me the food and ruffled my hair.

“Thank you miss! Have a lovely evening.” They turned and I saw a big white rabbit back patch on their vest. “Glad to see you found someone, Liliana.” They did as they walked away.

“Thanks Jessie. See you later.” I huffed as I looked back at her. “What, are you surprised?”

“Honestly… I really shouldn’t be anymore. My mommy has all the connections, but…was that magic or…?”

“Jessie’s delivered to the club on party nights before. I don’t think anything really fazes them anymore.” Marsha offered from her spot on the couch. “Plus you’re too cute to upset anyone.”

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“You! What the fluff did you do to me!?” Fluff? What? No, I was trying to say… what was that word again? Oh. I shouldn’t say it because it’s a bad word.

More dread set in as she just grinned at me. Even though I could think on my own again, there were still blocks there. Could I get up? Could I walk? Hopefully I could take this stupid diaper off.

Not stupid, it’s my diaper. I love my diaper.

No! I hate it…love it.

“W-why? Why did you do this? Why can’t I think straight? Why can’t I say bad words… Why did i call them bad words?” I knew I sounded pathetic but I felt pathetic, so it was fitting.

“Oh sweet heart. Did mommy’s little girl wake up grumpy?” She sounded so sweet and it was making me sick to my stomach.

“Yeth mommy. Me grumpy an my tummy is too.” I wanted to puke, but instead I just whimpered up at the woman standing over me.

“If your tummy is grumpy, then why don’t you try to make a grumpy for mommy?” Her grin looked so evil. What did that even mean? Why was I grabbing my feet and rocking back. Oh…no…no please not this…

No matter how hard I tried to fight it, I just couldn’t. I could feel the warm slime ooze into the waiting diaper. It was disgusting. Nothing about it was okay and yet I was filled with joy to rock onto a sitting position, the mush squelching around me as I wiggled and I looked up at mommy. “I did it! I did it mommy!”

“See? Isn’t that much better? Don’t you just love being mommy’s precious baby girl?” She cooed and tickled under my neck making me giggle. As much as I loathed it, the worm she’d put in my brain made me love it. Tears were streaming down my cheeks even as I smiled and burbled at Ami. “You made a much more fun test subject that any of them ever did, sweetie. You’re mind has taken so well to the coding and your body didn’t fight any of the hardware. Plus, you’re just the cutest little thing without all the drab clothing and that awful personality. I can see she’s still in there, but even you can tell you have been happy these last few months. Can’t you?”

I nodded. It was true. I had been so miserable for years and after the last few months it was all just… better? But for all I knew that was just another code written into my brain. I may have been devastatingly depressed, but at least I was me…right? Ami held my cheek gently and kissed me on the forehead.

“Baby girl, don’t fret over all that now. We don’t have to go back to full immersion if you can learn to let yourself enjoy this. Have today to play. If you do well, we can ease you back out.”

So lose myself by force or change into what she wanted of my own doing and be cognizant if it all. Either way, that tough self reliant girl would be gone. What a wonderful choice to have.

First Moon Forever 20

The back of my truck was loaded down with boxes and boxes of new stuff for the sprog. I was going to have a word or two with Liliana about having such things delivered to a security company. Sure most things came in unmarked brown boxes, but the larger things, not so much. Bed Rails, set of playpen panels, and then there was the crib. It was all easy enough to explain as a friend that was expecting, that didn’t stop the questions about the crib seeming larger than normal.

Before I headed over, I messaged a few of the wolves to meet me at the lady’s home to unload the mess so I could put it together. An hour later I was busying myself with the monstrous crib when she came by. I didn’t acknowledge her, but she just stood behind me for longer than curiosity’s sake. I grunted, but didn’t turn my attention to her.

“Um, Ronnie?” She finally spoke, more meekly than I expected from one that had won the heart of Liliana.

“Yes pup?” I bit out as I dropped a board on my foot.

“Can I help?” She shyly asked, having moved up behind me.

“I don’t see what help you could be here.” I grunted, fitting the last bolt needed to get the thing freestanding. “Run along and… play.” I could see her from the corner of my eyes as she puffed up her cheeks in frustration. The girl grabbed the box of Bed Rails and drug it down the hall. She knew she was strong enough to carry it easily, the dragging was simply a show of something I didn’t have time to care about.

I chuckled to myself and went back to putting in bolts when from down the hall I heard “Fuck.” I made my way to her bedroom to see she had flipped the mattress over. Obviously not thinking about how easy it was to lift with her new strength. I stealthily slid up behind her and stuck one of her new pacifiers in her mouth.

“Young princesses shouldn’t use such language, child.” And with that I left her stunned to go finish setting up her bed.

First Moon Forever 19

I watched her look around the room in amazement. Ms. Liliana looked at me with a scowl. “What is she seeing?”

“Oh hush lass, the wee wolf is just seeing the world through the eyes of her inner child.” I chuckled softly and gave Rachel’s head a pat. “You know my glamor is strongest the day after mother moon is at her fullest.”

“Winnie, you know I have business to take care of today, look at her, she’s deep in little space right now. Honestly, maybe for the first time even.” I caught her worrying expression.

“Don’t worry lassie, I can take care of your tyke for the day. It’ll be good for her to experience this headspace with no risk of shame.” Liliana nodded, but gave me a pout.

“Now I want to play with my baby girl…”

“There will be time for that later, and ‘toddler’ may be more accurate.”

Liliana fed little miss Rachel her breakfast as I went about getting some things set up for the day. When the alpha had to leave I caught her wiping tears from her eyes. It warmed my heart how she loved this girl for all that she was. It had been some time since I had seen her so whole. I had begun to worry she wouldn’t find what she needed and that’s never good for a wolf as old as she.

The day with Rachel was precious and I did feel bad that Liliana couldn’t be here to see her girl playing with toys in the makeshift play room I had set up for her. Flipping through kids shows it seemed she had quite the affinity for Blue’s Clues. I couldn’t stop smiling as she played along with the little puppy on the TV. Before the day was up I helped her back into her booster seat and put a plastic apron on the girl.

“Let’s paint a picture for your mommy, okay sweetie?” Rachel looked thoughtful for a moment, but nodded happily. By the time she was done, the paper was covered in a finger drawn picture of two wolves by the river. “Good job sweetie, Ms. Liliana will be home soon, so it’s time to get this place and a little girl all cleaned up.

~~~~~~~~~~

My day felt like a dream. I had played with toys, been incredibly engrossed in the stories of kids shows and even finger painted for the first time since I was four. It was wonderful, but I had wanted to do something since I woke up. I crawled on top of Liliana and growled playfully, but instead of growling back at me as I had hoped, she took my chin in her hands softly and looked into my eyes.

“No ma’am. You’ve been in little space all day and I think it’s still lingering a bit.” I whined and tried to protest, but she continued. “I don’t think tonight is a good time for that, I’m not risking hurting any part of you. No, I think tonight is a night for aftercare.” She pulled me close and wrapped a blanket around us. “We have all the time in the world to do everything our hearts desire and tonight I want to be here for you while you reflect on your day. Tell me all about your little adventure.”

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Stumbling around between flashes of color and sounds was not working. I ended up calling Delemain.

“You appear to be in distress, miss; Should I take you to the hospital?” The Car’s AI asked as I fumbled with the seat belt.

“No no… I need to go to Cobi. He’ll take care of…” the world faded into a cotton candy cloud around me. When I came back we were in the familiar alley.

“Ma’am, we have arrived at your destination, but I would be remiss if I didn’t suggest the hospital again. You seemed to be…” I opened the door and practically fell out.

“I’ll be fine. I’m telling you, Jaco is the best there is. He’s been patching me up since I was a kid.” I wobbled my way to the stairs and clung to the handrail as I went down. “Jacobi? You hear? I need ya bud…”

The older scruffy looking man looked out the door and saw me in my stupor. “Oh Lynn! What happened kid? You look like you’re in some far off world or something.” He put my arm over my shoulder and helped me across the room.

“I feel like it Jac, I feel like it…”

“Someone slip you something or what?”

“This girl… kidnapped… port…” I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. “There was some virus waiting for me. I need you to fix me up man… you were the only one I thought of…”

“Yea… she figured that would be the case..” Jacobi looked incredibly sad as he plugged into my neck port. “I’m really sorry kiddo… but hopefully you’ll at least not have to worry about anything…”

As my world swirled again, I looked up to my go-to ripper and realized the first thing he had told me was true. In this life, you can never fully trust anyone, even if they are like family. “Co… Co… Bi? Whyyyyyyy?”

First Moon Forever 17

I ran, the wind in my fur. Down on all fours. I was free. Everything was right. Rachel was happy. Liliana kept pace behind me. The world was mine.

It had started as Rachel exploring herself and her new form, but once she was accustomed to it, she let me take the lead. Everything was new. Of course I had Rachel’s knowledge of things, but it wasn’t the same as just putting my paws to the ground and going. In the back of my mind, Rachel was giving me the information about things I showed interest in. Trees, the river, so many smells!

I found a rabbit and chased it for a good bit, but we didn’t want to hurt it. I could hunt. I could hurt the rabbit, but I knew I didn’t need to. I didn’t have to hurt the bunny to eat, even if it would be so easy. Rachel didn’t want to kill it, and I knew I didn’t either. I just wanted to play. So I did. Until the sun began to peek through the trees.

About The Author

The app notifications went off. They must have thought she was crazy. Sushi from one place and boba from another. Then there were the coloring books, crayons, candy and snacks from yet another. They were all her favorite things and very important for a day like today.

It had been a particularly challenging couple of weeks and it had all just gotten to be too much, so today she was going to do something about it. Shae tiptoed down the stairs and peeked out of her room into the living room. No one there, awesome. This was going to be pretty easy.

It’s not like she thought her roommates would say anything about her outfit, hell they probably already knew about her special underwear choices. Today she had decided to wear her comfy denim skirtall with the frayed denim star on the bib, the cute little wolf bodysuit under it… bodysuit, it was a onesie and under it was one of the comfy new AlphaGatorZ and over it was her new ruffled booty tights. Her hair was in tiny little pigtail tufts since her hair was still in the process of growing to where she wanted and she had the tiara she’d gotten as a present on as well. She felt absolutely adorable as she pranced through the living room to the front door.

She caught her one roommates eye peeking down the hall and he just rolled his eyes at her as she opened the door and bent over to get her orders. Her ruffley tush peeked out before she adjusted the skirt and made her way back up to her room.

Into bed, TV on to Bluey as suggested by her baby sister for today, the front rail went up and she sat there on her big plush purple blanket. Princess sat beside her wearing one of her little drool bibs as a second bandana, because sometimes the big stuffed sabertooth tiger wanted to be baby too.

So the little princess (not to be mistaken for Princess herself) was at peace. This was how she wished she could always live. Just an oversized toddler who was still in diapers more often than not if only for the comfort of them. She ate her sushi and potstickers, drank her boba, colored, snuggled her plushies, played with her baby toys and just… was. She was herself and she was happy.

First Moon Forever 16

I followed her through the gate. Dense trees on either side of the driveway. After about a quarter mile we came out of the woods and I saw the gorgeous wood cabin. Behind it the lake stretched out, water glistening in the morning sun. It was more like something from a painting than what I would ever have expected. I could’ve never in my life anticipated I would be moving into a place like this, to live with the most wonderful woman I had ever met and I had only known her for a week.

I parked beside Liliana and got out to get my bags. Liliana stopped me, grabbing my shoulder and bouncing a little. She was so giddy it made me grin.

“We can get your stuff out later! I want to show you around first.” She gestured at the wilderness around us. “And tonight I’ll show you around this!”

My eyes were wide as I turned to take it all in. Driving up it had already seemed vast, but now that I was out of my car I felt so small. I had never been a real city kid, but I hadn’t been in this much nature either. I felt overwhelmed and at home at the same time. The little wolf in the back of my mind was practically vibrating. It made me realize I was sniffing at the air. My eyes closed and I took in the world around me.

“Good.” I opened my eyes to see mommy watching me and I cocked my head. “You’re allowing the wolf to access her home with you. I’ve seen so many new wolves fight their instincts. It takes them longer to find the balance.”

I blushed and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “I guess it doesn’t hurt that I wanted it either?” I mused idly out loud. Liliana pulled me into a big hug.

“It sure doesn’t!” She tugged me along into the house. I stepped through the front door into a cozy little living room. Marsha was on the couch playing a Pokémon game.

“Hi squirt!” She greeted, tilting her head back smiling before going back to the game. I stuck my tongue out at her and laughed. Liliana took me around the house. The kitchen was amazing. There were a couple bedrooms, the master, mine with all my things already setup, two guests and one empty one.

“This… this can be your nursery if you want?” She opened the closet to reveal the stash of diapers and clothes she had already had.

“That sounds fun, but I have wondered why you already had stuff ready?”

“Oh, well, I always hoped I’d find a little girl like you, but diapers are also just comfy.”

I thought for a moment. I really wanted to play with that, so after a beat I burst out “Ooooh! MOMMY IS A CRINKLEBUTT!” Marsha burst into giggle snorts in the other room as Liliana’s eyes widened and she blushed.

“I… well…” She stammered and for a moment I thought I had messed up, but Marsha stuck her head into the room.

“Ma! You found the perfect little brat for you!” She teased and Liliana fought the slight grin.

“Both of you are brats!” She fake whined at us. “And you’re the crinkle butt, I just had to make sure your diapers were comfy enough for such a tiny baby.” My face scrunched up in a huff. I tried to protest, but I couldn’t. My feet shuffled before I bounced over and hugged her.

“Thank you mommy! You picked the cutest, most babyish diapers to introduce me to… me!” Kill them with sweetness, right?

The rest of the day the three of us lounged around the house with games, movies and internet shopping. Marsha and Liliana gushing over how cute the types of things I picked for my nursery playroom were. They were both eating it up and I was living for their praise.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Again, it is going to hurt at first, but don’t try and fight it. Once it’s over, the pain just goes away.” Liliana gave my hand one last squeeze before stepping away. The sun was just about down, I was encircled by pack and I could feel the wolf getting antsy.

My skin rippled as fur sprouted. My bones ached and shifted. I could feel my organs shutting down while I watched my nose grow out in front of my eyes. My ears stretched and migrated further up my head. My tail burst out behind me. Organs, now rearranged and once again working as they should, made me feel like I was going to vomit for a moment, but instead I lifted my head and let out a howl.

“Oh lass, her fur is white and silver. The girl is beautiful.” Winnie commented. I was beautiful? The wolf girl was very happy to hear this and I hopped on all fours with joy before testing my balance on two. I looked to Liliana in front of me and… “Oh my, it looks like her wolf is as wee as she is!” I had gotten smaller? Liliana, still in human form now looked me in my eyes.

“My little pup.” She cooed, giving my ear a scritch before stepping away to let the change take her as well. The rest of the pack followed her lead. I watched as her silver grey form emerged before me and grew. She must’ve been over seven foot tall now. I got close and nuzzled into her. My lover, my mommy, my alpha.

First Moon Forever 15

I woke up to a light knock at the door. Instantly I knew Liliana wasn’t in bed anymore and I let out an involuntary whimper before I saw her slip over to the door. She opened it as quietly as she could to let Marsha in.

“Good morning, she’s still asleep. I’m about to head out.” Marsha could see me slowly getting up on the bed and for her credit didn’t give me away. I took aim and left at Liliana, pouncing on her with a giggle.

“Morning mommy!” I squealed.

“Well good morning, puppy.” She purred out. She spun me around off her back and held me like I was really as small as I had appeared the day before. “I’m about to go deal with business, you going to be okay with Marsha today?”

I looked like I had to think about it before nodding. “I think so, it’ll be nice to get to know her better.” Marsha ruffled my hair from behind before pulling my hood back in place.

“Okay, I got the tyke. You better get going.” As Marsha told her to get going, Liliana let me down and I gave her a big hug.

“Have a nice day!” I sang out with a mischievous grin that made her raise an eyebrow before she kissed me on the forehead. She shut the door with a laugh and Marsha waited until we could hear the elevator going down to turn to me.

“Okay, what do you have planned?” She asked, smiling. I rushed to grab my phone and show her my appointment. “Oh! So… she teased you about that movie and…”

“I’m going with pink and lilac highlights!” I blurted out to her amusement.

“And you’re sure you weren’t into this before, ya little mischievous brat?” To which we both got a good little laugh.

~~~~~~~~~~~

We spent the rest of the morning hanging out watching shows before she got me into another of my new outfits, leaving me in the slightly damp diaper from the night before. So I spent the rest of the day in a huff as we went around town. After lunch she finally said it was time for a change, but just put me back in another Lil King before we went to the salon to get pink bangs and lilac tips in my hair.

“You know, she’s going to love it, but the fact that you did it because she teased you is just such a little brat move and I’m here for it.” Marsha admired my hair as we got back in my car to go meet Liliana for dinner.

“Hey, I’m not going to give up who I am. I was going to do something like this soon anyways, so why not now?” I shrugged, starting up my car. When my stereo connected to my Phone, it started playing ‘Trouble by Shampoo’ and we both burst out laughing again.

“Okay, that was perfect, but how do you even know that song?” Marsha asked, still laughing.

“The Power Rangers movie? I was always a little nerd and… Kimberly was cute…” I blushed a little thinking back on my crush for the original pink ranger.

“She’s really nice you know? Amy Jo Johnson?”

“Yea?”

“Oh, yea…I was an extra for the movie, back when I was actually twenty. I was in front of her in the end scene when they’re watching the fireworks. I was so nervous, but she was so sweet and made me feel a lot better.”

“Oh that is so cool! My big sister is a movie star!” I giggled.

“Haha, very funny. Anyways… you’re moving in with Liliana Wednesday? That’ll be your first full moon too, won’t it? How are you feeling about everything?” She sounded concerned.

“Well, being a werewolf has been all I’ve ever wanted, so I’m pretty excited still? I know it’ll probably be different from what I’ve had in my mind, but having mommy and you… I think it’s only going to be better than I had hoped? I got my dream, learned about a part of myself I had kept buried and got a little family all at once. I’m feeling pretty blessed honestly.” I gave her a shy smile as we pulled up to the restaurant. Liliana was waiting by the door when we walked up and literally face-palmed seeing my hair.

“I’m going to have a time with you, huh lil pup?” She feigned exasperation.

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The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. What would these skeeze bags have done if the family had come home with Ami still here? Pricks only thought about themselves I bet. So I listened at the door for them to be back on guard. I was about to teach them a lesson they would never forget. With them back on either side of the door, I stepped back, took a big puff off the adrenaline inhaler I kept in my bag and kicked the door out.

The frame splintered as the hinges were forced out. The guy to the right took the door to the face and crumpled out. The flashes of pastel colors obscured my vision again, but not enough to keep me from rushing the other guy and bulldogging him face first into the floor. I could swear I heard a music box as I got back to my feet. I was feeling a little fuzzy headed. Ami’s face looking back at me while she climbed out the window came back to me and I realized where I had seen her before.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what was it you needed my help with here?” I asked Tracey, the girl who had hired me to help her with a job at this lab.

“They’ve been taking people off the streets to test some mind altering crap on them. My kid brother was one of them. He got out, but hasn’t been the same since. So we go in and shut them down.” I could hear the anger she was trying to hide, but I got it. Shitty Corp brainwashing street kids? I could get behind taking them down.

It was after hours, so all we had to do was go in like the cleaning crew. Security was pretty relaxed, barely even looked up as we badged in. Tracey handled all the hacking, I was there to watch her back. Within twenty minutes she had completely wiped their system and people were looking out of the doors she unlocked.

“Okay, now we lead them out?” I was unsure what the plan was until Tracey pulled the molotov out. After that things got a bit more fast paced.

“Fire!” One of the guys shouted and everyone rushed to the exit. The security was so caught off guard that they rushed out with everyone else. No use in them getting killed for a paycheck after all. As I followed Tracey away from the chaos I noticed one girl who had seemed out of place. She didn’t seem as scared as everyone else, instead she watched us curiously.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fuck… Ami had been one of them… and she was back at the same ol shit…” I looked at the two unconscious guys I had just taken down. I kind of felt bad, but bringing this sort of thing was still putting their families in danger. Hopefully they learned that lesson if nothing else.

I stumbled back out the building. With the colors and sounds popping up, I knew I had to get checked out. I needed to see Jacobi.